So I have written about being selfish and selfishness before, and you can find that post here. if you want to check it out.
But I’m writing about the word “selfish” again.
Current things within my own life has inspired this post, and I am here to talk about why selfish isn't a dirty word.
I think that society grooms us to believe that being selfish is a negative personality trait and that above all else we should never be selfish as if it is the worst possible thing to be. I think that this grooming is 10x harder for women than it its for men. Sure, it’s bad to be a selfish man but it is the end of the world to be a selfish woman.
I’m here to say that it's not. Being a selfish person is not a bad thing, and I’d argue actually is a good thing and can serve a positive purpose in our lives. In fact, some common synonyms for the word selfish are self-loving, self-seeking, and self-serving.
Are these truly bad things?
Of course, as with all personality traits too much selfishness can lead to a path of pain and destruction but so could too much forgiveness, too much nice, too much self-sacrificing.
Here are some reasons why selfish isn’t a dirty word and why I advocate for it as a necessary personality trait to living.
Boundaries - A person who can be deemed as selfish knows their boundaries. They know what they are willing to take and what they aren’t willing to take from others, and they know how to speak up for themselves when these boundaries are violated.
Courage - A person who can be deemed as selfish has the courage to know what they want and take the necessary steps to get there. Even if achieving their dreams and goals unintenally hurt others. A selfish person knows that they have to do whatever they have to do, and have the courage to do those things.
Standards - A person who can be deemed as selfish has standards. These go hand in hand with boundaries. This is a person who believes in a set standard and will not settle for anything less. This person knows their standards and will not bend them for anyone else because their standards make others uncomfortable.
Willing to let go of things that don’t serve them - A person who can be deemed as selfish, is more willing to let go of the things that don’t serve them well. Be it people, situations, jobs, or things, a person who can be deemed as selfish is willing to let all of that go if it isn’t right. The element of holding on ins't there because of loyalty or time or anything along those lines.
These four traits are just four of the reasons why selfish isn’t a dirty word. In addition to these, is just the simple fact that we all have to spend some time within our lives to being selfish in order to earn things. We have to be willing to be selfish to find ourselves. We have to be willing to be selfish to achieve the highest heights within our careers. We have to be willing to be selfish in order to find life.
In the end, let us be honest here, it is way easier to be selfish within our lives while we are younger. Before life gets in the way before things like marriage and kids get in the way.
Therefore selfish isn’t a dirty word.