• Zuhri

On Expectations

There is something incredibly dangerous about expectations.

The year of 25 journey calls for a lot of self reflection as well as introspection. One of the things that I have noticed is how dangerous expectations are and how unmet expectations cause strife, struggle, pain, and all sorts of their negative emotions.

Now, this does not mean that all expectations are bad or that we should get rid of every expectation, but we should begin to wonder what our connections are, where they are coming from, and why we have them. Most importantly we have to wonder what they are doing to our quality of life when they are and aren’t being met.

That being said, some expectations are good to have. For instance, we expect to be treated well, and that’s a good expectation to have. If that expectation isn't being met, getting it met is important. But what about the not so clear cut expectations that maybe won’t be met so easily and may cause those negative emotions to stir up? Expectations like :

“I expect to make 50k a year.”

“I expect for this person to like and want to date me.”

“I expect this person to be my friend and accept all of my bullshit.”

Expectations like this are simple, but perhaps they are wrong. Expecting to make a certain amount of money when you put in the work and have the educational background is important, but what if all that is available to you is a job that is paying way less than that ideal, and you have bills to pay? How do you get through that? Or when you expect that relationship to work out and be a certain way, but the other person doesn't like you back or is tired and fed up with your bullshit.

Then what? What doesn’t life look like? How do you feel?

In my personal experience and observations of the experiences of others, not so great. Life doesn't look all that good, and feelings tend to be in the dumps. All of a sudden the negative emotions start piping up and can cloud everything else that is happening. They can block the good as well as positive thoughts and make life seem like a series of major and minor inconveniences.

These unmet expectations remove joy.

Letting go of these expectations, I believe, can be the key to unlocking the door and allowing joy back in, allowing what is positive back in, allowing gratitude and gratefulness back in. Expectations come from a place of a prescribed life that society sets upon us, without the acknowledgment that everyone’s life is different and that maybe for right now for some reason bigger and not unknown to us life can’t look how we expected it too, and that’s okay.

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