Sometimes we gotta evaluate our friendships
We all know what these times look like, and before things fall apart though lack of conversation or end in a passive aggressive rage, or things break due to pent up frustrations, evaluations can be in order to not deal with these more negative outcomes. Now I know that calling it an evaluation gives it this big formal title and takes the emotions out of situations, but really this is my way of getting all of my feelings out about my friendships on paper. It allows me to figure out what needs to change or what I need to change in order to maintain or get rid of these relationships if I so choose. It also is a way to provide me with insights into what I am looking for out of friendships in the future. I am hoping that it can do so for you.
Year of 25 is all about evaluating and maintaining only that which brings meaning and joy.
So without further ado, here is my friendship evaluation prompt. (check out my post On Friendship, to see the background to this post and my thoughts on friendship.)
Friendship Evaluation Prompt
1. How long has this friendship been?
2. What has changed within the friendship that is making me question things? That is no longer bringing joy or meaning?
3. What am I gaining out of this friendship?*
4. What am I giving to maintain this friendship?*Am I giving more to maintain this friendship than I am getting?*
5. Is the exchange an even exchange (it will never be 50/50, but what is comfortable to you is the goal.)
6. Am I okay with how the exchange as it is now or not? If not am I willing to say something that may create change though it may create friction?
7. What am I leaving unsaid that I think needs to be said, or what do I need to say? Can I say these things? Am I ready to say things things? Will I never say these things? If I choose to say these things am I willing to face the repercussions (good or bad) of saying these things
8. What to the answers of these questions mean to me? What do I need to do next based upon these answers?
*- These questions are important to know that the gains and giving, are more than just financial. While these things could be financially they should also include things like emotional currency, time currency, energy currency, and anything else.