• Zuhri

Excuse Me, Sir! (A humorous rant on a common personality type I've run into on dating apps)

As stated in a post written not so long ago, dating in 2019 as it has been for the last few years, has turned into an endless game of swiping left and right. Where only our thumbs get worked out, our brains get numb, and love begins, heck a date seems like something out of an 18th century romance novel.

While on this journey of swipedum on all of the major apps, there has been on personality type that I have run into on more than once. A personality type that is so infuriating to me is that the only way to get rid of it and let the experience go is to write all about it and share it with you.

(Now if you are an avid reader of this blog, normally my posts are a little friendlier, and growth focused, but this one is a little more ranty than normal. I think there is room for a good rant everyone and then, even if its out of the ordinary.)

Now this personality type has 3 main characteristics or identifiers. I have nicknamed this type the “Desperate Dan or DD for short” (No real reason for this and not to mock anybody, I like the alliteration.) They are listed below.

Creepy : This usually entails suggesting a first date or an introductory meeting, that leaves alarm bells ringing in my head, and thoughts of my friends talking about how I lived on an episode of some identification discovery show. For me this includes things like : , I don’t really know you but come to my house for wine or let me come to your house, and when you politely attempt to dodge out of this brand of stranger danger, the DD increases with begging, and borderline threatening follow ups. This continues until you ghost them, block them, or send a scathing message that destroys who the DD is as a person. It’s all up to personal preference.

Sexual : this entails the DD being sexual during the text convos as much as possible and inserting sexual scenarios into non-sexual everyday conversation. It includes creepy spellings of the word horny, and weird adjective choices for becoming “turned on” such as “frisky”. These sexual scenarios are always unasked for, never really promoted, and usually are followed by the dreaded dick pic.

Stubborn : this entails the DD being so stubborn and so entitled to your attention that none of your attempts to nicely thwart them, end their efforts with you, and try to dodge them are in vain.

Even Though we all want good dating karma, and no one likes a ghost or to be ghosted, the DD only leaves ghosting the only choice. This is left as the only choice because the DD cannot be reasoned with. The DD does not accept personalized nice answers like, “you are coming on too strong” for a no, the DD does not accept general platitudes of busy for a no. The DD does not even accept a dressing down of who they are as a person and how they are presenting themselves as a no. They still fill up your inbox, they still are being sexual, and creepy. No nothing works for them. This is the only action, but is must be finalized with a block. Without a block, before you know it the DD has jumped kicked their way back into your inbox, an unsaved number, and suddenly you are filled with dread.

Paying attention to these signs will let you know when you run into a Desperate Dan. In the age of the swipe, chances are that sometime you will run into someone with this personality type, and the only way to really deal with it is to get out in the beginning. In the beginning and as earlier on as possible, otherwise you will be adding more numbers to your block list, or be stuck getting “hey stranger” texts every couple of months.

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