So recently I dipped my toe into the muddy waters that are dating apps. And within a few thumb swipes, I was alarmed by what I had seen in profiles that I was thumbing through. My alarm was two-fold, the first level being as a potential dater, and the second level as a social worker.
I have written a bit about dating in the past, and you can find that piece here and here. When it comes to writing about dating, I think that the tone of my posts can become a little bit snarky, so the warning of the snarkiness is here. So with all intended snarkiness, and seriousness.
5 Dating app profile red flags
1. Profiles where the only picture is that of a dog, or the first picture is a dog, and you have to swipe through to see the person on the other side. - The first thought I had was the is an updated age version of the creeper who tries to lure kids to the van with candy. Only this time its adults trying to lure other adults with puppies. It makes me question a few things, like are you ugly? Are you a creeper? Who are you hiding from? Is that dog even yours? Automatic red flag and creep level: 5.
2. Profiles that are only pictures of cartoon characters or memes - Like with the profiles that are pictures of dogs, these are profiles are just as problematic if not more so. In general, it is weird, that your picture is a cartoon character, but let's talk about the choice of characters. It's always problematic abusive cartoon characters, like Rick from Rick and Morty. This is where the social worker in me tends to speak up because let's be honest if your profile picture is a problematic, toxic, abusive character that you are choosing to represent yourself, safe to say that in some way you are problematic, toxic, and abusive. Automatic red flag and creep level 4-6 depending on the character.
3. Self Deprecating "humor" - When there are words written in the bio section, I find it alarming when the choice is this form of self- deprecating "humor." This includes things like "I'm ugly so I know you're going to swipe." Or "only going to waste my time." "nobody likes me," etc and etc. All that this screams is I have low-self esteem and I have low self-worth. It screams I need to be in therapy working on myself and not on the app trying to find a partner. It screams I am going to put my partner through it. Automatic red flag, creep level 0, avoid at all costs level 8. Seriously, avoid at all costs.
4.Demands that you start the conversation - This was seen on the profiles of men demanding that women start the conversation. This came in many forms including, the demand, and various forms of the statement "swipe left if you don't know to respond to a conversation." First of all, these statements reck of entitlement. Secondly, its basically someone saying that they are expecting a level of emotional labor from you already and that this is someone who is expecting attention and lots of it. Automatic red flag, creep level 2, avoid at all costs level 7.
5. Variations of the statement "I don't know what I'm doing here." Really sir. You really don't know what your doing here. This is a level of stupid that is annoying. Automatic Red Flag, creep level 1 avoid at all costs level 2.
So there you have it! Here are the 5 dating app red flags that I noticed during my time on the apps.