A 4 Step Process to Dealing with Jealous and FOMO

Jealousy and FOMO (Fear of Missing out) are real. Seriously. They are really real as much as we would like to pretend that they aren’t they are. Jealousy and FOMO are leading the way to social comparison, and that is the doorway to all sorts of negative feelings about our current life situation or what our lives look like right now.

Recently, I have been experiencing these emotional realities more than usual.

And sure, social media facilitates this, but for me, other things do too, like summer and post-graduation. The more than I continue my way into the post-graduation life and figuring out what it means to be a real adult, instead of a semi-student adult the stronger these emotional realities become for me.

CLEARLY, the jealous and FOMO is real for me right now. Especially on the post-grad end of things. A lot of this is just because of my own unhappiness with my work life and feelings of wanting to rush my goals and not achieve them yet. But before getting into this more, let’s be real honest here for a minute. Comparison is natural, and in a group of people humans are quick to make assumptions about where they rank in that group on whatever arbitrary quality they are measuring themselves up against at the time. It could be beauty, weight, intelligence, workability, anything really.

At the end of the day, while I cannot control these feelings, I can only acknowledge them for what they are. I can control my reaction to them and how I deal with them, especially when I am not the biggest fan of my work life now. I can also use this emotional experience as a launchpad for the things that I want in my life.

So here are my tips for dealing with jealousy and FOMO.

1. Pout

I totally believe in expressing the full emotional range and experience that you can have. For me that includes pouting and pitty parties just as much as happiness and other positive emotional experiences. The trick is not pouting at all, but instead not staying in a pouting phase for too long. But when it seems like everyone is ahead of you or has what you want, and the jealousy and FOMO are burning in your heart, it’s okay to pout about it for a little while.

2. Pinpoint what is making the emotional experience happen

After you are done pouting, the next step is to figure out what is making this emotional experience happen for you. What is it that you are seeing that you believe that is missing from your life? What do you think you need in your life that you currently don’t have that is causing these feelings to come out? As always, these kinds of things take a little bit of self-reflection, and self-honesty. Also, it could be anything that makes these feelings come out, and no matter how trivial or small it seems, you shouldn’t shame yourself for your own emotional reality and experience.

So what’s making it happen? Is it a job? A date? An outfit? A trip?

3. Assess, if this thing (job, date, outfit) is something you really want.

After the pouting and pinpointing, the next step is to assess. Once you know what is causing these feelings to stir up within you, the next thing is to assess and find out if this thing, is something you really want for yourself or is it something you want just because it looks cool or because you're bored. This as well will take a bit of self-reflection, and self-honesty. You may have to be even more honest with yourself for this step than pervious steps because you don’t only have to admit that you are jealous or feel like this thing is missing from your life, but you may have to admit that the only reason you want it is that you are bored. That could be a tough bit of information to swallow, but it is essential to getting through a jealous and FOMO period and having a positive outcome, instead of just wallowing through it until your attention is focused on something else.

4. Plot

The last step in dealing with jealousy and FOMO is to plot. If you determine that the thing that is causing you to have this emotional experience is something you genuinely want in your life than the next step is to figure out how to get it. This could be a wide range of things from setting a goal and goal plans for yourself to going out and going shopping on your next paycheck.

With these steps, you can not only get through your next period of jealousy and FOMO but help you to get through it with some success at the end of the experience for you.

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